My Life in Songs

“Rises the Moon” by Liana Flores: This sound encompasses the innocence and beauty to my childhood. I relate to this because of the moments where I was a child, looking up at the sky, thinking about magic and dream.

“If We Have Each Other” by Alec Benjamin: This song reminds me of my family. My sister had a child at 19 who she loves so much. My parents always seemed the perfect image of love. My brother and I are always there for each other. Each lyric seems to, in my mind, represent a part of my family and life.

“Afraid of Quiet” by Lydia the Bard, “Panic Room” by Au/Ra, and “Panic Attack” by Peggy: I related to these three for the same reason. I have an anxiety disorder that causes panic attacks. I started having panic attacks at the border of childhood and teenhood, and one of these songs, “Panic Room,” was there for me during that time. The other two, I related to as an adult who remembered those panic attack and who still gets them, albeit less frequently.

“Deep Breaths” by Sushi Soucy: I am physically disabled, and my doctors haven’t been able to give me a diagnosis as is common for young female people. I related to this song because it felt very true to that fact.

“I’ll Fight” by Daughtry: This song encompasses the feelings that I have towards my nephew. I was 15 when my nephew was born, so I was old enough that I felt protective towards him and felt like an adult who wanted to watch a child succeed. However, I was young enough that it felt like I was gaining a little brother instead of a nephew. I related to this song and would sing it to my nephew when he was a baby.

“Little Girl” by Faith Marie: I am autistic, and I related to this song when I was undiagnosed. The song felt true to the feelings of always saying something wrong or that I shouldn’t. I thought it was, as the song goes, because I was a young girl, but not anymore. I no longer relate to this song, but it was important to my life.

“She Used to Be Mine” from Waitress: I grew up really fast and that is why I relate to this song. I felt like I lost a childhood, a little girl I used to be, as the song reflects. Now, I relate to it more in being transgender, however.

“Suffering” by Amelie Farren: I have a tendency to self-isolate and take everything on myself which is why I relate to this song. I also just relate to that experience of having to take a lot of medications as a disabled person.

“Sacrifice” by Lilith Max: I relate to this song because of how I used to sacrifice myself in order to help others. It is a habit that I am breaking, but the song still seemed true to my life.

“Mister Glassman” by Scotty Sire: I relate to this song for the same reasons as “Panic Attack” and the other songs in that cluster. I grew up with anxiety, so I related to that part of the song when I was younger. Now, however, I relate more to the confident adult in the end. I have, like the song goes, learned to be and live with my anxiety.

“She’s So Gone” from Lemonade Mouth: This song reflects my feelings on being transgender. Sometimes it feels like people only see the girl I used to be, but now I am different and new. I also like that the new person I am. The song feels true to that.

“This Is Home” by Cavetown: This song is an anthem for transgender and Autistic people, and I am both. I really relate to the song because of that, but I also relate to the song because of how I found home and comfort in being trans and Autistic in my friends.

“Build-A-Bear” by Maggie Brewer: This song is about being transgender which I am. I also relate to it because of the ways that society and families expect me to be a cisgender woman.

“Machine Learning” by Janani K. Jha and “Changeling” by Lydia the Bard: These songs are true to the Autistic experience. Because I was a late-diagnosed Autistic person, I had that experience of feeling like something was different and “wrong” with me, like I was a robot or a changeling.

“King” by Lauren Aquilina: When I was younger, I felt like the singer was singing towards me. I felt like I was hearing advice that I needed, but now I am in a position where I relate to the singer. I am the one giving advice to those like me.

“Sorry” by Halsey and “Aromantic Moodboard” by Maxwell Anthony: I am aromantic and asexual, so I related to these songs. When I was younger and didn’t know I was aromantic, I felt like I was wrong and needed to apologize to a hypothetical lover. Now, I know that I am aromantic, and the second song seems more true to life.

“sorry haha i fell asleep” by Egg and “Mess” by Peggy: In my life, I have felt like I didn’t know what I was doing. I have felt messy and like I was failing. This is why I relate to these two songs. I have felt like I am all over the place and failed to communicate due to that messiness.

“Crazy Bitch” by Madelline: I hear a lot of bad things about medications, but I related to this song because of the more positive look on needing medications to help your brain. As well, I have related to feeling like a crazy bitch, even if it was because of a toxic roommate.

“Average” by Sushi Soucy and “Honesty” by Cami-Cat: I related to these songs because of my relationship to my art. I often feel like I am not in the place I want to be, which is true to the songs.

“The Knife In My Back” by Superspace Super Highway and “Weird Hills” by Janani K. Jha: I had a toxic roommate, and I found both of these songs at the time where everything was blowing up in that scenario. I related to these songs because that roommate made me feel like the songs described.

“What It Sounds Like” from KPOP Demon Hunters: This song is the perfect finale to this playlist. I relate to this song because it shows the acceptance and joy in who I am now.